Woe is me....

yeah .... bleh .... between trying to work, dealing with catching up from the power outage, fighting with my bank about their being completely retarded, passing 2 kidney stones in the past 2 weeks, and last saturday 10/14 started this lovely chest cold... i been pretty miserable these past 2 weeks. Well I finally got paid today so i went to get something for this bronchospasm at the pharmacy- pharmacist said if my albuterol nebulizer wasnt working anymore i really needed to see a doc .... so i say ok fine, i'll do that maybe they'll give me a codeine cough syrup, straighten my ass right out.

NOT... 9 bags of IV fluids and 6 hours later (my bladder and circulatory system thank you ever so much) and a myriad of tests and procedures later... thanks to my kidney stone exodus i have a UTI, but my CT scan showed NONE LEFT TO PASS! YAY! ?cheer? But my chest xray did show some haziness in my lungs that left untreated would be pneumonia - so there'll calling this early pneumonia. So whooopteedoo i'm on antibiotics again! So at least maybe i'll start feeling mildly physically better. Hopefully that will change my attitude with everything else too. But i doubt it...

along with my daily saga is the now pending holiday dilema. Do I dare call and invite myself to my grandmothers for thanksgiving and xmas or would i rather just stay at home alone AGAIN and avoid the family drama? do i dare try to save money to try and drive to SC to see my mom and lil sister? but if i do that then i would have to deal with the dreaded stepfather /shudder.... and i KNOW id rather stay home alone than do that. I have an afinity for xmas anyway - and note my lack of adding CHRIST in there I intentionally put the X in Xmas - due to family drama and years of our modern world turning what used to be such a fun holiday into nothing but a commercial competition between retailers and consumers - and my family getting completely sucked into the materialism of it all. Whatever happened to holidays meaning get together, have fun, reunite with ppl we havent seen in ages, rehash what we've been through over the year, hug, kiss, part ways happy and smiling and looking forward to the next one?

at least this xmas i know i wont be sitting here nursing a black eye and a broken rib, a broken ankle, along with various other physical injuries. Thanks Joe you're a pal! (please note liberal amounts of sarcasm in that thank you)

oh yeah and did i mention that CRF is half through the run already? and i'm still sitting here in NY freezing my ass off wishing i was there dressed to the 9's 16th century style living in a tent for the remaining 3-4 weekends?